I walked home from school today

Ok, first of all, consider the last post  a grand make up for a lot of days missed due to recruitment.

NOW......we had to make "personality pages" for the new Theta babies so that they can get an idea of the people they're about to be associated with, and who will eventually become the new members of their Theta family :) So I thought it would be fun to share pieces of mine via blog. But first!...summa my Thaytah fraynds on day 1!

Hokay....personality page.....BETHANY STUTSMAN PC '09

Likes:

dance. Jesus. snacking. diet coke. laughing. my family. estate sales. the smell of white out. doing hair. fashion. the food network. SYTYCD (So you think you can dance). peeling things. dogs. blogging. kanakuk. peanut butter. the sound of crinkling newspaper. weddings. boys that smell good. the beach. writing. my cousin, ella. glasses. did i mention dance?

John 16:33

"I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. I this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." 

Dislikes: 

running. mushrooms. hamstrings. waking up early. driving. having bad seats at shows. twitter. myspace. being pale. people chewing with their mouth open. home depot. the bank. being late. swimming in the ocean. the smell of exhaust from big trucks. waking up from naps in a weird mood. running errands by myself. not dancing. (below is my "dislike" face) 

Hmmmm...that's interesting...

i sleep with one eye open. i've never had a "PB&J". my dad is officially "america's funniest dentist". i've never dyed my hair. i can talk inside my mouth. i'd always rather be on a beach. 

Doesn't all this nonsense make you want to be a Theta, and more specifically, MY little sis?? Probs not, but unfortunately for someone, i WILL have a little in Theta, and all of these things will remain true. 

"An Aggie does not lie, cheat, or steal" Happy first day of school

            Cheers…..to a great first day of school. As I sit outside of my ballet class 30 minutes early, I am reminded of the extra 30 minutes I gave myself last year that was fully spent wondering around with my fingers crossed. A&M is a huge campus, and even bigger/more complicated for someone as directionally challenged as myself. It’s SO weird being back as a sophomore! It was incredibly liberating to be able to tell the woman stationed at the top of the stairs at the Read building to help people find their way, that I knew where I was headed. 

            Last night, as un-excited as I was to start school, I still had a case of the “first-day-jitters” as I found it impossible to fall asleep despite how tired I was.  I spent a lot of time thinking about the year and all it would entail. This year, I am trying to make a conscience effort to always consider, not WHAT I’m living for, but WHO I’m living for. Lately, the Lord has given me a real passion for obedience, and a fire to be encountered. I have experienced what it is to reap the benefits of walking closely with the Father, and now there’s no turning back!

I have the chance this year to start it out right. I want to get to the point where spending one-on-one time with God is not something to check off of my list, but something that I can’t get through my day without. I believe that’s what God wants for us…to just be needed.  He’s like any other Dad whose day can be made with a phone call, or a text just to say, “I love you”. I haven’t been texting God lately, but I do believe it’s the same sort of idea. If we just admit that we have no control and give back to God what is His in the first place, doesn’t that make life easier?

A big topic that helped mark my Summer was that of holding on to things in our life. I think that it took me hearing the advice I was giving my kampers, and then taking a step back to re-examine the way I live myself, before I really understood this whole subject. An awesome analogy that my sister shared with me is that, as humans, we keep our fists clenched tightly, holding on to the things of this world, and one by one, God peels our fingers back, trying to get us to just let go. The things we know we can give up to God, but can’t muster up enough trust to hand them over, are the things that hold us back from a real, walking, talking, encountering, romantic, desperate, perfect, bright, and just plain happy relationship with our Maker.

I finally was convicted enough to practice what I preached recently, because after something I always knew to be true was vocalized…by me…I realized that it really IS just as simple as it sounds! The point: NOTHING bad can come from a full reliance on Jesus. It’s always been simple. God has been romancing us all our lives, but we don’t notice until we DECIDE to notice. He leaves sweet reminders of His hand in our lives all over life’s path. We can keep tripping over them like we have always done, or we can broaden our view, take off our blinders, and appreciate the sweet reminders for what they are.

It’s true, God is not tangible. Sometimes we don’t feel His presence. But that’s faith. Faith is believing in what you KNOW and have EXPERIENCED to be true instead of what you SEE to be fact.  One of my campers in cabin 11 said it perfectly when she explained a spiritual revelation in her own life that came from NOT feeling God. She explained that just because she did not feel the spirit moving through her at that dry phase in her life, she could cling to the times when he did encounter her, and for that reason she said, “so I worship anyway.” Faith cannot be based on a kamp high, or faith would fade as soon as the world was on attack, but deciding to stand up and worship even without that tingly feeling inside is really getting more to the point of worship if you ask me. Isn’t worship about God? Yeah, it’s a cool bonus when we feel good doing it, eyes closed and arms lifted high, but…shouldn’t it probably be one of the most selfless things we do?

So I don’t know…next time I worship at church or at Breakaway…I’ll probably feel good doing it. But what about when I had a terrible day and it was easy to blame God for what happened? Will I stand up and sing along still, or will I be selfish and make the one thing in my day that was supposed to be for God…about me? I’ll have to see I guess, but it is rather convicting to consider, huh? Anyway……..that’s it for now, dear readers. Hope you enjoyed the glimpse into my first day of school and the things besides Ballet, Modern, and Psychology that were going on in my head

Oh, Silly Sunday

I have to be at practice for skit today at 12 so Zami (Amy) and I decided to go to the early service at Grace Bible in College Station. It starts at 9 so she calls at 8:47 to tell me she's outside....oh and she also wakes me up. Yes, friends, it's true, I over slept. I hopped out of bed and in a record 3 MINUTES I had a dress on, a gronala bar and Bible in hand, and was sitting in Amy's car. Here's the second funny thing- Grace actually doesn't start until 9:15 so I sat there for about 20 minutes being bitter about the sheet marks all over my body and my greasy face I thought I didn't have time to wash. It was fine though...we sat behind some corp boys...I think they saw right past my....morning "glow"....

Short story I know, but the message was a really good one from Joshua about Joshua being obedient to God when he did not understand at all what he was being asked to do. A great reminder to stop questioning God and just follow. Just be obedient. When we are obedient we don't have to understand each step we take, but trust that each step is being guided by the one true, and mighty protector. How could we mess up?

This is quite a scatter-brained entry, but here are some pictures of my cabin 11 girls, as promised :)

Remember me?

Hey bloggy people! Let me be the first to apologize for the dry spell my blog has recently undergone. Believe it or not, I think right now is honestly the first time since kamp that I have had more than 5 minutes on my hands!

Today is the ending of a long and highly dreaded sorority work week...the Greek sorority chapters at aTm spend this entire week, until the PNM's (potential new members) walk through our doors on Monday, preparing for recruitment. The days are long and exhausting! We arrive at the Theta house at 9 every morning and aren't released until 5...after that I have an hour before being back at the house at 6 to practice our skit for 3 hours. Phew.....

Anyway, the dreaded transition from kamp to sorority central that I assumed would be terrible has proved to be much smoother than I anticipated! I have recently been reminded why I chose the sorority I did when I went through recruitment myself just last year. The girls are great and are an awesome Christian community at school! Who gets to say that their sorority spends the Sunday before rush praying for the girls about to go through? I do :)

So I'm about to get to the punch line...my trip from Dallas to College Station to move in

Ok we leave my house at 9 am on Saturday. Were we supposed to leave at 8? Duh. I'm in my car behind my mom who is driving my Uncle's truck we borrowed to transport my furniture. So we're like 20 minutes into the drive on highway 45 and all the sudden I watch my new couch slide out of the bed of the truck my mom's driving in front of me, and by the grace of GOD it rolls perfectly into the median. I should have been FREAKING out...I mean one wrong move and I could have run straight into it, or had to dodge it, but I pulled over as if I was expecting it.......I must have been drugged that morning or something. Anyway, I call my mom and I'm all, "You know the couch fell out?" She's all, "THE COUCH FELL OUT?!" Y'all, she had NO idea! So she turns around to meet me where I am. Mind you, we're on the highway so a "turn around" is no quick thing. 15 minutes later I see her in my rear view mirror getting closer...I keep watching her...I watch her get closer....closer...and finally, I'm watching her from behind because SHE DROVE PAST ME! I call her. I'm like, "Mom, you passed me." She's like, "I know, I couldn't cross all the lanes of traffic." So 30 minutes later there she is again, but thankfully I'm watching her pull over this time. She tells me not to get out of the car, so I'm watching her in my mirror get out and try to maneuver this large couch by herself. (Side note: my mom is quite wee...the couch is not) Not too long after, this man and his son pull over to help her. (Again, I'm still sitting in my car because I'm not allowed to get out)....but then I do get out. This sweet man has gotten the couch back in and is now tying my couch to the truck with this straw rope that is snapping while he's simply tying it, and I know it ain't good. Just as they're about finished, my dad pulls up. Sweet! He'll have something to secure it! So I ask him where the rope is......he informs me that he didn't have any rope, and I begin wondering if he has come to the scene of the fiasco to scratch my back. But thrifty Steve pulls out a..............waist belt. And BELTS my couch to the truck. Cool. My couch is now makeshift harnessed to the truck with snappy rope and a belt. Me and Karen take off again and soon pull over to fix this. We buy some bungees at a gas station, cross our fingers, and hope for the best. 10 minutes later, she calls me and says, "Bethany...if this couch falls off again...just drive around it- we're not saving it again." I laughed my head off and then called some people to tell them the story.

The couch made it to College Station, only suffering two minor scratches. Miracles really do happen every day...Anyway, I need to do another entry soon because so much as happened since my last one. I'll give you some pictures of my cabin 11 girls :) But for now dear readers, I hope you enjoyed a typical story in the life of me. Remember....never save a couch more than once

Irritated that the last half of that blog was typed as a photo comment...

How I know there is a God

Here I sit at the same Starbucks/hair salon/ show theatre in Branson, that has now become somewhat of a home away from...kamp, reflecting on my last few weeks spent at the closest thing to Heaven on Earth I know of.  I am very aware that it is a Kanakuk bubble that I live in and that this bubble is in no way a bit like the real world. But I love that kids can come to kamp and get a taste of what I believe is closer to the world God intended for us before a certain Adam and Eve ate that bloody apple...

You know what's funny? The most humbling part of kamp has not been doing something radical and world changing. It has simply been learning how to obey the easy things God called us to do as His followers. First and foremost, I have learned that I cannot save anyone, and I was not asked to. I am nothing more than a tool that God can choose to use if it fits into His divine, beautiful, holy, thought out, determined, and perfect plan. Each day I must begin with a prayer more desperate than the one I prayed the day before because after I realize that I cannot save anyone, it forces me to be DESPERATE for the real and only Savior.  I truly believe that that's what God wants from His people- that they would just surrender it all as the desperate people we all are, and get out of the way so that He can take our burdens and our heavy loads and do a good work.

 Just like in Mark 14:36, I pray, "Abba, Father...everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will." I continue with the coolest part of it all...Mark 13:11, "Just say whatever is given to you at the time, for it is not you speaking, but the Holy Spirit."...y'all, I can say now that I finally know what it is to have the Holy Spirit put words in my mouth. To have the perfect piece of  scripture for that certain situation and conversation literally pointed out to me. Scripture that I have never seen before! 

I had the privilege of seeing God's creativity working before my very eyes as He worked to call home one of His children. Sometimes it's hard to put your faith in someone who you can't have a back and forth conversation with or see face to face, and I have definitely felt that way before. But I know that it's OKAY to be afraid! If there wasn't any mystery of the "unknown" to it all, it faith wouldn't be real. After DAYS of the hottest weather I have seriously ever experienced, Jesus sent a mighty rain down and watered his thirsting Earth. It was no coincidence that He chose the same day to reveal Himself to a very special, and very thirsty kamper of mine. God sent a symbolic representation of the way He washed her clean with rain that was absolutely needed and refreshingly satisfying- "the old has gone, the new has come".

 I am convinced that God is aware of how hard it is for some people to just believe. I also believe that He goes out of His way to reveal Himself to those He is fighting for the most! I ALSO believe that I saw Jesus that day. I didn't see his face or Him in physical form, but I saw Him pull out all the stops for ONE girl. It is a sweet, sweet reminder of what a romantic Father we serve. One who knows all of His children by name, and more than anything, desires an intimate relationship with us. 

Me and Amy, my co from last term, at the highly dreaded swim competiton...Go Kiowas! (because I'm their sage) and Go Kickapoos! (because I'm a kick by blood). The way I see it, it's a win-win situation for me :)

And below, me and Jordynn, my other co form last term, waiting for our girls while they did the tree tops ropes course. No one cried and no one peed their pants- therefore it was a success! We were in charge of snapping action shots of Shea and Laura from below...so we snapped a little "selfy"action (as 14 year olds refer to it)

I can't wait until I have some pictures of my cabin 11, 17 year olds and my new co.'s Brittany and Libby, with whom I am obsessed. I laugh more with those two than I do with almost anyone! It's impossible to compare my experiences with the two different groups, but both have been such sweet experiences I will forever treasure, and both have taught me more about faith, friendship, this life and the next than I could have ever imagined for myself. 
So, back to explaining how I know there is a God. It's simple- I know there is a God because, even though He doesn't need to, He proves Himself to me over and over again, and is faithful to His people by pursuing us even when we push Him away the most. My God is a God of purpose, a God of grace, creativity, persistence, perfection, forgiveness, acceptance, and unconditional love that NO part of me deserves or is entitled to. He offers a free gift of eternity in paradise and asks for nothing in return, but desires and CELEBRATES when we stop filling voids by reaching for  the things of this world we see to our left and right, and open our eyes to look UP and reach for His hand that has been there the entire time. So, dear readers, my world has officially been rocked.  I'm desperate... and it feels so good :)

a mere reminder

to blog about the stinch in this hotel room on my next 2-4

Jesus at the laundromat

Told you I'd be back

As Court and I sit here in the laundromat...with chris from k7...

We decided to have fun...aren't the potted plants a nice touch?

Baskets are fun too when you can fit in them

Court wanted in on the action

I'll share a little more about kamp

Well my first term, I was in cabin 4 with the coolest group of 15 year olds on the planet! I had 2 co-counselors (Amy and Jordynn, as promised, here is your shout out). Their names were Amy and Jordynn. Amy is a graduate of Baylor University (Sic 'em Jesus) and she now serves Waco's public school system as a 9th grade english teacher.  Jordynn hails from Missouri, where she will be a senior at Missouri Southern next fall, with aspirations of becoming a wedding planner. I'm the baby of the trio. Amy never had plans to stay more than 2 weeks at kamp (because she's a sophisticated adult with a grown up job she had to attend to), so I was planning on being in cabin 4 again with Jordynn for the last 2 weeks. Well God works in mysterious ways, and Jordynn ended up getting to go home a little early because we were over-staffed and Jordynn had been working ALL summer (can you believe that?!). Anyway, on the same day that I said goodbye to my cabin 4-ers, and awaited the arrival of my new kids...I still had no idea where I would be placed. God decided to put me in cabin 11. That means that I will be exchanging 15 year olds for 17 year olds, and the muts for inside "nice" bathrooms. (I use the term "nice" loosely) Wanna hear the craziest part?! Courtney's little sister, Chandler is in MY cabin! (They're kind of clones of each other despite the fact that they look nothing alike) 

Aaaanywaz...I'm extremely drained from kamp and the fact that I'm dumb and have only taken one night off. There are a few things getting me through the ups and downs (but mainly ups) of kamp...I have been constantly reminded that God does not hand us trials in this life that we cannot overcome. It was comforting to remember that when I was faced with the mere stories of what some of my kampers are left to deal with when they return home, because even if I haven't been in their exact position, I can say with confidence that they can find rest in knowing that anything that seems too hard to handle is nothing but Satan whispering lies in their ear.  I was convicted of lots of things, but have also been blessed to have grown an appreciation for the sweeter things in life from watching my kampers innocently enjoy the Lord and each other.  As stated in my facebook status, I am surviving on this promise from Psalm 72:26- "My flesh and my heart my fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

I gotta go fold clothes with Courtney, but hopefully I'll be back soon-ish when I think of something esle earth-shattering to blog about. Enjoy something sweet and simple today, dear readers-God puts sweet things in our path every day, but instead of tripping over it, pick it up and enjoy it  :) You can thank me later....or you can thank God. Or the both of us will work too

Wait, before I go, I spilled coffee all over my shirt. T for typical

can you see it? if you can't this pictures just looks semi-inappropriate and weird

Oh and Courtney has swollen glands and I have blue lips

Where to start?

I think I'll start with good stories

"Freeze game"
In the k2 dining hall, individual cabins sit together at a big table and eat family style. At the conclusion of each meal, the biggest part of the clean up process is plate scraping. You may be wondering to yourself, "self, what does it mean to "scrape" a plate?" It's quite simple really. With a spatula, the loser of the "scraper game" wipes the remnants of everyone's plate onto the biggest serving platter, and then from the platter to a trash can (because anything that comes out of the kitchen cannot go back in). Now, you may not believe me, but the job of scraping plates is not a coveted task, so a game is played in order to declare a loser. Much like survival of the fittest. The games come in various sorts, but on this particular day, I fell victim to Shea Flanagan's FREEZE GAME. When "freeze" is yelled, all table-sitters must freeze while K.P.'s (kitchen patrol for the day) ((the ones who set the table, but we never had to because our brother cabin or our wonderful kitchie did every day)) get up and do funny things to people to make them un-freeze, or laugh. Being a counselor, I'm an easy target. The day's meal was grilled cheese and tomato basil soup. I always eat my grilled cheese with ketchup (don't make that face. It's like a cheeseburger without the meet, big deal) anyway, Shea makes her way toward me, takes my spoon from my hand, and puts, what I think is soup, in my mouth. Soup, no. Ketchup, yes...SICK! All the while it's being videod, and I seriously look like I'm bleeding out the mouth. Did I crack? No! I took it like a man and beat the scraper game. Anyway, Shea ended up getting ketchup on my Nascar t-shirt and she felt REALLY bad about it. That's when me and Shea became best buddies- from that moment on, she apologized to me nearly every 5 seconds, including yelling "I'm sorry, Bethany" when the lights were out and all was quiet at bed time, AND while zooming down the zipline from 50 feet in the air.

"Pranks are bad"
When one of my Co-counselors, Amy went on a 2-4, the girls thought it would be funny to play a joke on her when she came back. We constantly praised our girls for being such a unified cabin. Seriously, they were precious and spent F.O.B (flat on back/ cabin chill time after lunch) in the floor of our cabin making bracelets and writing letters together. I have never seen a group of girls have so much fun together- we didn't have one conflict with them the entire time! Anyway, we decided that the prank would be one to make Amy think that our precious, friendly cabin had fallen into pettiness and drama like most of the others. So here's the story: The whole cabin was mad at Libby for hard core flirting with Laura's ex-kanacrush, Christian. Libby was not only wrong for flirting with one of her cabin mates ex-kanacrushes, but she was wrong on a second degree because Libby has a BOYFRIEND. His name is Jake. Libby was mad at Shea because Shea took matters into her own hands by writing a letter to Jake, telling him what kind of girl he was dealing with, and exposed her viscious, unfaithful, flirtacious ways. Everyone was really into character when Amy got back, and Amy was a little upset that the cabin had fallen to pieces in her absence, and a little annoyed because she didn't know what was going on. So naturally, I filled her in on the whole thing, and together, we decided to prank them back! We planned to go along with it until devos when we would inform the girls that we had taken matters into our own hands and told leadership about the problem, and have a leadership girl come in and send the girls to the Hilton (k2's disciplinary cabin) for the night. Long story short, we got them good. The girls made a rap about it that they sang at backwoods during role call instead of saying "here". It went like this...

"Yippy yippy skip skip Amy went cray-cray
Got sent to the Hilton cuz we were bad lay-days
(boom-boom psh, boom-boom-boom psh)
Pranked our counselors then they pranked us back
Now they gon beat us with a fanny pack
(boom-boom psh, boom-boom-boom psh)"

Really good, right?

More to come- I have to go do important stuff like go to walmart, do laundry, and inject my veins with caffeine. Not really, but I will drink a lot of it. And what about "i before e except after c"? The word "caffeine" is so not grammatically correct...ugh. Chew on that, dear readers, I'll be back.