Oh please oh please oh please

Santa, if I'm really good, won't you please bring me something like this early this year?

Lately, I've become fed up with bikinis. Every time I go to put on a swim suit, I find myself closing my eyes and wishing that as I slip it on, the top would become a pinch-front halter and the bottoms would rise a little higher. (Or something like that) I think my favorite of this bunch is the yellow and white bow-front with the striped bottoms.

A girl can dream....

Nothin but love,
Bethany

I have an aunt, and her name is Aunt Suzanne. She is my dad's sister. She lives in Katy (and no, I will not tell you where). She used to be a school teacher. Because she has found it hard to stay away from those little hooligans, she spends time at the local elementary school helping various classes with their writing skillzzz every now and then.

Aunt Suzanne has always been a big advocate and supporter of my writing. I remember when I was in 5th grade she was asking me about the things I was learning about writing. So I shared with her the rules and formulas I had been given to write my thoughts and turn them into papers. After being flabbergasted at the thought of formulated writing, she told me that I should tell my teacher that writing is creative and that these rules were really doing nothing but restricting me as a writer..............or something like that. So I raised my hand in my 5th grade writing class, expecting my teacher to be proud of my revelation, and after spatting out my 2 cents, was quickly told to, in other words, stick that information where the sun don't shine. Of course she said it nicely, but in a really stressed out tone because it was Christian school. ((I don't think Aunt Suzanne meant for me to do any of that in the middle of a lesson, and in front of the entire class.....my bad))

Anywho, Suzanne shared with me a while ago that she had been reading some of my blog posts to her minions to stress the idea that you can write about ANYTHING, because her niece (me) writes about EVERYTHING! She also promised her classy-class that I would be making an appearance in their writing class before the year was up. Sooooooo.....Last Monday I went to elementary school and hung out with the 4th graders :) My most "famous" one for them was the one I wrote about my pink pillow...you can find it here. So we brought up the pillow as a little gimmick

They were cute, and asked all sorts of nutzo questions. Most of which pertained to how one goes about commenting on a blog, how you make them private, if it's anything like facebook, and etc. Haha, just kidding, they did ask those funny questions, but a lot of them had some insightful questions too. Like how you write about personal things without revealing more than you want to...How to choose what to write about......If I journal....things like that. I was pretty impressed with the little inquisitive 4th graders! 

They made me feel pretty cool for the hour I was there, so I'm glad Aunt Suzanne signed me up :) Dear Aunt Suzanne, Thanks for always being one of my biggest fans!

Nothin but love, 

Bethany

I like your look

lookbooks.com/streestyle

Nothin but love,
Bethany

How did He hear that?

I know one thing's for sure- God does not suffer from Attention Deficit Disorder. Allow me to explain...


So, recently I found myself in a conversation in which we were discussing free will vs. predestination. I feel pretty much the same way about this subject as I do about things like homosexuality and abortion. That is, I know what I believe, but I'm still learning about the technicalities; the "why"....

{Now, let me preface by saying that I hope not to cause controversy. I assure you that I'm not an expert on............anything.}

Predestination is defined as follows: "that God foreordained salvation for His elect church and foreordained eternal damnation for all those who aren't elect"- Google maintains that if God has the free will to predestine and the power of omniscience, it is impossible and contradictory for humans to also have free will. 

Free will is defined as follows: "the apparent ability of agents to make choices free from certain kinds of constraints." I.E.- (as it applies to the subject at hand), every person has the choice and opportunity to choose God, choose grace, choose eternity in Heaven. 

Ladies and gentlemen, I have chosen a side. For what it's worth, I have left my perched position on the fence of uncertainty and found myself swimming with Free Willy himself. (Get it? Free Willy the whale?.......I choose free will?-- ehh sorry, dumb joke, I know) 

The reason I say that God is clearly not suffering from ADD is because I seriously had this conversation last night, and this morning when I opened my book-marked Bible to where I left off in 1 Timothy, God cleared things up for me. 

1 Timothy 2: 1-4 "I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession, and thanksgiving be made for everyone- for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth." 

- -What I understand- we pray for people because EVERYONE has a chance. If they didn't, why would we waste our time? Honestly.

Ephesians 1:4-12 "For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will- to the praise of His glorious grace, which He has freely given us in the One He loves...And He made known to us the mystery of His will according to His good pleasure, which He purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment...In Him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of Him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of His glory...you were also included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in Him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit..."

- -What I understand- We WERE chosen for something: before sin entered the world, man was created in God's own image to be "holy and blameless". It's my thought (not biblically backed up understanding) that if sin was never to have entered the world, everyone would receive Heaven; there would be no corruption, false gods or practices to sway people from the truth. I fervently believe that God creates every person who was, is, or is to come with the desperate hope that each of us would accept grace and return to Him at the end of this life. 

However, (again, as I understand it) man received free will when the first sin in the Garden of Eden was committed. Not because God planned to have Eve eat the forsaken apple (though I believe that He knew she would do it), but because Eve decided to give into temptation and eat it even after God attempted to protect her by explicitly warning her not to. I believe that God is omniscient (that God knows all; that he knows every decision I will make before I make it). However, God is only good. In the Bible He clarified right from wrong, he set laws, limits, and moral boundaries so that we would be equipped with the RIGHT answer in what ever situation we face, whether or not we act on it "rightly" or not. He wanted us to have every opportunity to do right! If He had already decided what we would choose between right or wrong, He would have no point in laying it out the way He did. 

Because I believe that every person is loved equally by God, no matter what baggage we come with or how difficult it is for truth to reach us, I have to believe that we all have a chance at Heaven through the ability to choose it or refuse it for ourselves. 

I apologize if this "hot-button" issue hit anyone the wrong way or left anyone unsettled. I don't tell people this often, but if that's you, I'll allow you to take comfort in knowing that I've been wrong before. I know I know, it shocks everyone. Anywho, take it or leave it, there it is. Sorry that it turned into such a novel without pictures (again)...

How God manages to not only hear every conversation we have, but offer clarity as well, I will never know. I suppose that's why he gave me the simple task of being a dancy girl in Texas and left the grunt work for himself. 

Nothin but love,

Bethany

A week of solitude

Well folks, I'm back in College Station for about a week. I teach dance classes at a studio here in town and agreed to help out with the recital on the 14th. I drove back up from Dallas on Friday so that I would be on time for our 8 am Saturday curtain call....yiesh...that was early. It certainly was an all-day affair though. We did the dress rehearsal that morning, starting promptly at 9. (The studio director, Lynsey, is a no-non-sense kinda gal so we started at 9 o'clock on the dot. I respect a woman with punctuality)

It ended up running impressively smoothly! The girls were a handful but hilarious at the same time. I help teach a little baby ballet/tap combo class on Mondays and they crack me up- one of the girls, Aanya, would look up at me every 5 minutes, tug on my shirt, and say, "Miss Bethany.......my brother is coming."..."Miss Bethany....... do you know my cousins?"..."Miss Bethany.......my mom is gonna watch me." those comments went on and on. We had to take them backstage a couple numbers before they went on and, not having much experience with the little ones, I didn't realize what an ordeal it would be to line them up. 8 girls, 2 lines, easy right? WRONG! They all wanted to be the leader, and none wanted to be the caboose. I would have them hold hands in order to stay in line, but Elina didn't want to hold Lauren's hand. And quite frankly Lauren didn't want to hold anyone's hand but mine.

I don't blame Sydney for not wanting to hold (a different) Lauren's hand because the little toot decided that if she had to hold Sydney's hand she wasn't going to do it without yanking it incessantly. When I became worried for poor Sydney's shoulder socket, I allowed them to drop hands...

I'm sticking around this week to finish up the last week of classes at the studio. Growing up, we were always finished after recital, but everyone does things differently, I guess. When looking on the bright side, it's nice to have gotten to go to Dallas with a load of stuff, and then come back to finish the move out. Makes things less stressful. It's nice to not really have anything to do. The cable on our TVs was turned off on Monday, so besides internet surfing, I watch movies and read. It's really beautiful outside too.

It's weird that I have no pictures to post in regards to this blog entry.....I know (for myself, at least) I'm always more prone to skip over posts without pictures. But I'm also ADD, and holding my attention in general is a trick. I'll be more entertaining tomorrow.

Here's to consistency...ish...

Nothin but love,
Bethany

Summer

Here's a list of some things I'd like to do this summer. Maybe mixed with a few goals. I'll try to keep your attention with a picture here and there...

1) Create:
I'd like to make a lot of things. I've gotten to a point where I have pretty much discontinued the practice of buying gifts. It's funny when you start making things for people though because there is a real feeling of insecurity in doing so. What if they don't like it? What if it breaks? What if they never wear it? All these things.......they could very well have these same feelings for a gift you bought, but the difference is that this time it's on you not Anthropologie.

2) Dance:
Two days ago I went to every Dallas dance studio website I know of and wrote down every single class I would ever be interested in taking this summer. It is so easy to get out of shape with dance and I'm not looking to back track on any of the progress I made this semester. I also plan on teaching private lessons, so if anyone in the Dallas area is interested in dance privates, holla at me here

3) Learn to thread my bobbin:
I'd like to learn to thread the bobbin on my sewing machine myself. That one doesn't need much more explanation. I hardly ever buy craft supplies. It's fun to use things you already have and don't use anymore to make them into something new. I want to do some "reinventing" this summer.

4) Read a book:
I began the book, "The Hole in the Gospel"when I was at ACDFA. I never finished it, and I'd like to do that. And if I finish that one....I'd like to read another! But I need to pace myself. This reading thing is still growing on me.

5) Blog consistently:
Also quite self-explanatory, I'd like to not leave you little monsters hanging by a thread like I (regretfully) did so often this last semester. This picture hasn't a thing to do with blogging, but how summerywonderful is this picture?! I found it here

6) Make things for my new house:
I keep talking a big talk to my roommates about all these neato things I want to make for my house next year. If I don't deliver I might be in a bit of trouble, so I'd like to be able to show up next fall with a bundle of projects to decorate the house with :)

7) Summer school:
I have to take it. I won't expand much further, on account of it's ruining my summer nostalgia. ((No, making the background color grey was not a coincidence))

8) Not sleep in EVERY day:
Here's the deal, sometimes it's REALLY hard for me to fall asleep. Like painfully hard. I believe they call that INSOMNIA. No matter, because of that, I can sleep in like no body's business. I don't want to sleep every day away, so I will utilize my alarm clock and try to get up and seize the day. But somedays I will snooze for far too long without a care in the world.

9) Estate/garage sale/flea market:
I want to go to one or all of these things. I want to buy things that no body else sees any use for and then paint them (or something) and make them look like new! There is absolutely a load of pride that comes with seeing something special in a hunk-a-junk. Just like my good ol' orange velvet chair :)

What are you doing this summer? Send me a list of goals/dreams to (this place) for your summer and I'll post 'em!

Nothin but love,
Bethany

That was funny

Some witty high heels....

Would I ever wear them? No. I feel like that's a cheap fashion statement to make. Not that any of these shoes are inexpensive....I just don't see the creative effort put forth in someone wearing a pair of these. A little too costumey for my liking. Did I "lol" at these pictures whilst watching them pop up on stumbleupon.com? I did. I certainly did.

Nothin but love,
Bethany

It was wonderful

The Circus. It was wonderful.

My test? We won't speak of it.

My pictures don't begin to do it justice. They are blurry. The circus was clear as crystal. They are dark. The circus was as bright as heaven.

I

love

the circus

I wore, what I now call, my circus pants. They're the color block shorts from Ralph Lauren Rugby. They're probably my favorite pair of shorts, but I can't wear them too often because....well...look at them.

There were tight rope walkers with cumber-buns, jump roping poodles, a crew of acrobats costumed in miniature sequined vests, an upside down-walking man dressed in skin tight fire (a one-sie with flames), sisters who hung from their hair, and a ring master who I'm quite convinced was on some sort of stimulative drug...just to name a few acts.

After my visit to the circus, I better understand who is keeping Ed Hardy in business.

Go to the circus. See the movie "Water for Elephants".....and for the love of all that is good, somebody PLEASE buy me an elephant and a new camera!


Nothin but love,
Bethany

Anything but this

I'd like to be doing anything than what I'm doing. 
Math final is tomorrow
And after my final I'm going to the circus.
I'm not kidding, I'm going to the CIRCUSSSSSSSSSSS!


The Ringling Brothers are making their way to good ol' College Station, and I am celebrating my graduation from Math 141 with the clowns


Before 3:00 pm tomorrow...

After 5:00 pm tomorrow...

Eeeeekerssss!!! I can hardly wait! I'm sorry if you think my illustration of animated me choking my animated math teacher is a little much. I'm not excusing it or taking it back by any means, I'm just apologizing. Though I'm hardly sorry. ((I wouldn't put that on here if I was serious))- after all, on our "get to know you" cards at the beginning of the semester she asked for an interesting fact, so naturally I put that I have a blog and I gave her the URL. So obviously she reads my blog religiously. (That has not been confirmed, but I can only assume). 

Anyway, Ms. Bollinger, if you're reading this- know that apart from all the numbers, I enjoyed your class. And also know that I would never choke you. 

{Side note- Sorry for the font change-up. I realized that at some point long ago I was using this font, and then I guess I forgot to change it from "Times", and after a while I just forgot it all together. But I think it has more character so I'm back to it...at least until I remember the reason I nixed it if there was a reason.}

Pray for my pencil tomorrow. Pray that it would write the numbers and formulas the test wants. Or if you're not into praying for pencils, please pray that the smartest kid in the class would accidently write my name on his/her scantron. 

Thank you

Nothin but love,

Bethany

Today in my day dreams

An excerpt from my Jesus diary. Inspired by this oh-so-beautiful day ((making studying for math 10 times harder than normal)).

{By the way, I did some research. Ironically enough, scholars maintain that the term "mathematics"is an ancient translation meaning "that of satan" in a dead language from about 500 B.C.}

(Clearing my throat as if to say, "aaaaanywayyy") ...An excerpt from my Jesus diary:

"Jesus, words cannot hold you. With their arms stretched wide they cannot touch you. I could string letters together for an eternity without beginning to communicate your splendor. But still, I forget. I untie the string and let my lettered-words crash to the floor. In the morning I wake up and I actually believe that I can handle my day. I falsely believe it is my day with which to handle. When, again I start to just get by; to merely survive, I pick up my worthless letters again and I string them. I string and string. As I string, surviving changes. I remember what it is to live fulfilled. As I string the letters that cannot hold you, I remember what it feels like to live. Today, I could string all day." 

*sigh*....what I would give to string letters in that. 

stillness.restoration.[you.sort.my.thoughts.]renewal.calmness.good.[you.change.my.perspective.]you.are.you.are.

Nothin but love,

Bethany

Can you believe that God loves Osama?

It's hard for me to believe. I don't know much about him besides that Osama Bin Laden headed up an agency of evil for quite some time. I know that he has been in hiding for the past 10 years since the tragedy of September 11th, and that to ensure his safety, men actually got plastic surgery to look like him so that if someone was to capture and kill Osama, the chances of it actually being him were slim to none. ((Travis told me that))

Last night after hearing the chilling news, I was folding laundry in my room and asking myself this question: "If I some how found myself where he was near his death, would I have the courage to tell Osama about my Jesus who's grace is bigger than Osama's evil?" And then after considering that, I thought about the bizarreness of the fact that if indeed Osama had taken that opportunity to accept grace, that despite EVERYTHING- all the people he killed, families he broke, torture he took pleasure in- even Osama Bin Laden would have been walking the streets of heaven with me when my time comes. *CRAZY*...but that's just how insane the truth is.

(Deep transitional breath) There are a few things that I wanted to share since my last post. Whether or not I get to all of them, first on the list is Easter! Happy (late) Easter, dear readers! I hope everyone had some good time to relax and perhaps got to spend time with people you love. I hope you were able to (have fun with, but) get past the egg hunts, and egg shaped peanut butter m&m's that I so adore and remember the reason for the season.

This is where I got to spend my Easter weekend for the second year in a row! Our good friends, the Goolsby's, have a ranch in Blanco, Texas (Just outside of Austin where they live). The ranch, as you can see, is definitely not lacking in scenery. My family, along with our other family friends, the Miller's, and Robin, Ashley's (Mrs. Goolsby) sister spent Friday and Saturday night out here. I don't have many pictures from this year, (and now facebook doesn't allow you to drag pictures in other people's albums from facebook to iPhoto so I can't show you the ones Ashley took either) Booo!!

Apparentlyyyyy it was all my idea to go back to the ranch for Easter for the second year in a row. ((When I say "apparently" I mean that it definitely was, and that I shamelessly invited all of us to a ranch that does not belong to me)) haha that's ok right? Right or wrong, I always enjoy the time I get to spend with friends like these. Though their blood does not run through me to make it official, I consider these people to be family. We love them all very much and just don't see enough of them! So sometimes ya gotta do whatcha gotta do...and sometimes that means that you invite yourself places.

In an effort to not make this entry turn into a novel, I'll cut it off there. Get ready for a lot more consistency! After this week I am through with school for the year!! I'll have lots of adventures to be bloggy about this summer and no stupid math homework to keep me from doing it :)

Nothin but love,
Bethany